Of thoughts and the lack thereof

When I was four, I had this plastic lunch bag that changes its colour under the sun; from white it turned violet. I knew it was cool back then so I was happy and contented. Some kids would walk up to me and say, “Hey where did you buy that? I want one too!”

When I turned five, I was in the afternoon section of the prep class (preparatory, just after kindergarten, also known as kinder two), and I had this 70 pieces of crayons that I was pretty much proud of even though I didn’t have the slightest idea where would I use each of ‘em, seeing as I wasn’t included in the creative bunch, having only the ability to draw people made of sticks.

When I was in first grade, it all started. We are not rich, my mom was a housekeeper and my dad was just a simple employee in some family business but because my grandparents can permit it at the time, I went into an expensive private school. Things have become so hard. My classmates were bringing toys like Barbie dolls, Polly Pockets, Lego and all those things that rich parents could afford. I was just always looking at them and if lucky, get to play with them with my classmates who were, fortunately, kind enough to let other kids touch their stuff. I’ve filled the lack of toys and money with the ability to excel with my studies, so it wasn’t much of a problem.

I grew up with the knowledge that I couldn’t have everything. If one thing was given to me, I couldn’t have the other because then it would be called greed. I grew up with an upbringing that if I had to have something that I don’t need, I had to give back something of equal value, thus, I always tried to excel in my studies. My parents had to go abroad to give us a good life and that, too, was something that I needed to consider.

This is maybe one of the many reasons why I have the capability to understand every sacrifice that I needed to do in life. It is one of the things that taught me to consider other people’s feelings, especially the ones that have given me so many things.

It is important for us to be contented of what we have, but it doesn’t mean that we didn’t have to dream of something better than that. But demanding something that are beyond the resources isn’t reasonable and downright selfish. We have to always consider the circumstances, analyze the situation and do our best to understand what’s right and what’s wrong.

Sometimes, even if we are not contented, we should try to be. Because when God closes a door, he opens a window somewhere, and as they say, we’re just too busy dwelling over at the closed door that we don’t realize that there’s a window waiting for us.